As I'm writing this post, I feel angrier than I've been in a long long time and I really do need an outlet now, unless I do something stupid. And I hope after this post I have some idea of what the point of all this is? What is the point of all this? What what WHAT what WHAT WHAT what??? NOTHING. Not one stupid inconsequential retarded thing.
What is the point of obedience and honesty? What exactly is the point when you know it isn't worth anything, when you know you will be accused and questioned at periodical whims of paranoia? Why be good when there's absolutely no appreciation for you being good. Appreciation be damned, I'd be content with silence, just stay quiet and I'll be happy. Why try and provoke a response when everything is going well and as it should be? What is the point?
What is the point in denying your friends when they offer you a puff of cigarette (among other things) or a glass of alcohol? What is the point of respecting a few boundaries, I mean, it's not even like any of my parent's money is being spent on the stuff, it's for bloody free? Why not just say "yes" the next time there's a booze party and all of your friends are there? What is the point of being the only sober person within a 20 metre radius? What is the point?
What is the point of being transparent and truthful when everyone else lies? It would make my life so much easier and there is no human way to catch me lying? Why not just hide the truth like everyone else does? Surely that is to be expected? I am a student, that's what I do, fudge the truth, lie and manipulate. So why don't I? What is the point?
That is all out now and no I'm not really anywhere near as good as I made myself sound, but those three paragraphs and Mr. Tambourine Man have served their purpose and not so angry now, just annoyed, disappointed.
What is the point of obedience and honesty? What exactly is the point when you know it isn't worth anything, when you know you will be accused and questioned at periodical whims of paranoia? Why be good when there's absolutely no appreciation for you being good. Appreciation be damned, I'd be content with silence, just stay quiet and I'll be happy. Why try and provoke a response when everything is going well and as it should be? What is the point?
What is the point in denying your friends when they offer you a puff of cigarette (among other things) or a glass of alcohol? What is the point of respecting a few boundaries, I mean, it's not even like any of my parent's money is being spent on the stuff, it's for bloody free? Why not just say "yes" the next time there's a booze party and all of your friends are there? What is the point of being the only sober person within a 20 metre radius? What is the point?
What is the point of being transparent and truthful when everyone else lies? It would make my life so much easier and there is no human way to catch me lying? Why not just hide the truth like everyone else does? Surely that is to be expected? I am a student, that's what I do, fudge the truth, lie and manipulate. So why don't I? What is the point?
That is all out now and no I'm not really anywhere near as good as I made myself sound, but those three paragraphs and Mr. Tambourine Man have served their purpose and not so angry now, just annoyed, disappointed.
2 comments:
Ow.. I catch you angry today. interesting.
the phase i am in now, maybe i can answer your rants. (not that you are looking for answers, but anyway..)
1) channelising anger through your writing is definitely 'Not one stupid inconsequential retarded thing'
2)the point of obedience and honesty--- Today i feel guilty for not being as obedient as my sis and my friends had been. As my sis had said, sometimes you do things just because your parents tell you. trust them to know. Now, I know. I have always been honest and was never confused about its advantages.
3) if 'you know it isn't worth anything' you wouldn't be writing it all out. :)
4) Why be good when there's absolutely no appreciation for you being good-- being good is the end. Appreciation or no appreciation.
5) What is the point in denying your friends when they offer you a puff of cigarette (among other things) or a glass of alcohol? --- Doremi, you will get the satisfaction that you tried as long as you could. And, from me, lots of respect!!
6) What is the point of being the only sober person within a 20 metre radius? -- You get to observe the world from a saneground. That way, you can live, write better.
7) Again, being transparent and truthful is the end. Appreciation or no appreciation.
8)You don't fudge the truth, lie and manipulate for you still want to live up to yourself
Glad you put up the word verification. And there's nothing dumb about asking *anything* you don't know.
thanks so much.
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